In the beginning, I knew something was wrong with my Adult ADHD brain when I struggled more than other children with simplest tasks. Being more frustrated was normal for me. Completing a simple homework assignment was daunting. Having trouble working with my peers in small groups and not being able to nap was another sign. My parents were meeting with teachers regarding the student who couldn’t sit still and take direction from teachers. Furthermore, this was the beginning of the Adult ADHD brain. As I got older, I became more irritated than most people on the simplest of things. Letting things go was not an easy task and I hated loud noises, crowds and large family functions. Being alone was heaven for me.
EXPERIENCES OF MY ADULT ADHD BRAIN
There is much controversy on not only the child ADHD brain but the Adult ADHD brain as well. Having met with my son’s psychiatrist and being tested, I was again diagnosed with Adult ADHD at the age of 51. Sitting at a stop light or looking for things as I was driving was the norm. Being busy and fidgeting all the time and keeping my mind form whirling was concerning. It took me longer to comprehend things. Thoughts were that of as if I was starting to show signs of my mother’s manic depression. I was becoming increasingly terrified of my mental state.
Functioning in my day-to-day life was becoming difficult and I was scared. However, my doctor and I discussed how I reacted to certain situations and after completing an ADHD questionnaire, I was diagnosed as being highly ADHD. I had also heard the same words when my son was diagnosed as well.
My brain is firing off 1000 circuits and I am afraid of the circuits misfiring. Thoughts travel at the speed of light in an effort to not forget what I want to say. Conservations are challenging. People look at you with a confused look and it’s embarrassing. Having to work twice as hard as the normal person mentally is exhausting. Overextending myself to the point of insanity and exhaustion in the norm.
Working twice as hard as the “normal” person to comprehend is exhausting. Concentrating without being interrupted will send me into the edge of despair. Also, looking around at unfinished projects, I wonder what is wrong with me. Stacks of unread books, unpaid bills, unfinished to-do lists and the cluttered house makes me feel like a failure.
TREATMENT FOR MY ADULT ADHD BRAIN
Cognitive Therapy is a big part of treating the Adult ADHD brain, along with medication. Making changes to my environment and restructuring my thought processes on how I perceive events have been a big part of my healing. Otherwise, my brain will go down every path imaginable and pretty soon I am in a state of sheer panic.
Part of this is anxiety which also goes hand in hand with Adult ADHD and Cognitive Therapy has helped to calm my mind. Analyzing how I perceive events, comparing them to the facts on hand and rationalizing my thoughts can stop my mind from the downward spiral I experience. Increasing my self-confidence has also helped and realizing the benefits of having an ADHD brain has improved my self-confidence immensely.
THE TAKE AWAY
Don’t let the negative stigma of ADHD deter you from getting help. Being diagnosed as a child, my parents made the decision to remove me from medicine. Hence, I see why they made that decision, yet I I suffered. The benefits of having an ADHD for me has been that I am more determined than most, being smart, not giving up easily, and I am extremely good in a crisis. ADHD has allowed me to handle extremely stressful situations and I am more mentally strong than most. It has made me tenacious.
Have you had experiences with Adult ADHD? How have you handled it? Please share your experiences and thoughts with me. Remember, No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent.
