How My ADHD Ignited My Son’s Behavior
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Recently, I realized the truth of how my ADHD ignited my son’s ADHD behavior. This was another example of how I wished my parents had followed through on my diagnosis as a child, instead of not addressing it further.
Parenting an ADHD-Oppositional Defiant Disorder child is tough. The constant stream of defiance, hyperness and homework struggles each night will test any parent to their wit’s end.
I remember telling stories to other moms of my son’s behavior and how frustrated I would get. Many times, they didn’t seem to understand my level of frustration and now I know why.
Having a very low frustration tolerance myself, my son’s ADHD was exasperating my own ADHD symptoms. So much so, it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to get through each day.
After writing this post on my 9 symptoms of ADHD, it dawned on me how my own ADHD hindered my parenting skills.
ADHD Symptoms That Sparked A Fire
I know I was (and still am) an awesome mom. My son now tells me he doesn’t know how I did it being a single, widowed mother and raising him alone with this challenges.
In retrospect, I look back and realized how my own ADHD symptoms made our situation worse at times:
- Being Quick Tempered
- Sensitivity To Noise
- Not Controlling My Emotions
- Low Frustration Tolerance
- Not Being Consistent
I can’t tell you how many weeknights ended in screaming matches. All I wanted was for him to do his homework and take his bath. His constant defiance towards me left me weary.
Taking my son’s privileges and electronics away didn’t work. Repeating myself 100 times didn’t work. In fact, my son’s defiance increased as time went on as you can read about HERE
What I Wished I Had Known Earlier
My son’s ADHD symptoms were exasperating my own ADHD symptoms. My already low frustration level decreased further. The intensity of his outbursts each night increased my sensitivity to sound.
Many nights we both went to bed crying from our own frustrations with each other. In retrospect, I wished I would have realized what I was going through in order to help my son better.
Maybe we would not have had such a volatile household at times if I would have managed my emotions better.
There were many times I would write in my journal before going to bed. Getting those feelings down on paper made me feel a little better.
If I had the energy, I could have joined Facebook parenting groups to bounce ideas off someone and get feedback.
Since I was a widow at this point, I didn’t have a partner to bounce ideas off of.
There were not any parents in school that were experiencing what I was with my child. Therefore, I truly was alone in this battle.
Now that my son and I are older and past this stage of our lives, I have realized a few things. Most of the parents that passed judgement on me for not discipling my son enough, have eaten their crow.
It took me a long time to believe that I did the best job I could, given the circumstances. In the end, the situation worked out, but it wasn’t without years of pain and heartache.
Take the advice of others with a grain of salt. Don’t give it any merit unless they have faced the same situation.
Find out what works best for you and your family through trial and error. And journal, journal, journal!